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Forgotten

All I want to do is please Him,

but How can I do that when I’m constantly falling into sin?

Am I the only one who feels this way?

But i’m yours you say…

and you love me this way.

Not for what I do or fail to do,

but for who you are.

The one that created the stars.

I’ve never felt a love so real.

it’s something I don’t have to see,

but I can feel.

He’s constantly

showing me

guiding me

and teaching me.

Through my struggles, He’s constantly reaching for me.

I’m extending my hands towards Him.

He’s already forgotten my sin.

 

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The Next Day

IMG_2952Has anything bad ever happened to you, and you instantly regretted what you did right before it happened? Or have you ever thought about the different outcomes that could have occurred if you did one thing differently? Everyone has had these thoughts at least once or twice. I have battled with these thoughts quite often. I have gotten caught up with what I should have done before, instead of what I could do after. I realized that getting caught up with worrying about what I should have done before to prevent a specific situation, only caused me to lose sight of what I could do with the situation I was given. It already happened, so why was I wasting my time, when I could be using what I learned and applying it to the next day?

On Friday, November 30th of 2018 I was on my way home from Miami University, where I attend grad school. I was going to my boyfriend’s church’s Live Christmas nativity scene. It was a foggy night and the drive was entirely back roads. I went a different route than typical. I was not distracted while driving, but as I came down a hill I saw the stop sign when it was too late. I tried to slam on my breaks, but I was not able to and I went completely through it. Before I knew it, I was hit at 65 miles per hour and I was spinning. I eventually ended up in someone’s front yard. Before I could even start panicking, I heard someone ask if I was alright. He tried to open my door to let me out, but it would not budge. He came around to the passenger side door and was able to pull me out of the car. The man that pulled me out of the car and his entire family stayed with me until the ambulance and my family arrived. The man was thanking God that was I was alive, and he was a complete stranger. Soon after, a young man who happened to drive by approached me and asked if he could pray for me.  Again, he was a complete stranger. He began to thank God for His grace and for pulling me out of the wreck alive. He thanked God for saving my life and for saving the other person’s life who was involved in the accident. He prayed that I would live for Him and that he knew there was a reason I was still alive.

I was taken to the hospital in the ambulance. My chest felt like it was completely crushed. I thought for sure that there was something internally wrong. Once I arrived at the hospital, the X-rays came back, and the results showed that there were no broken bones, fractures, or anything to be worried about. I walked out of the car wreck with only bruises. I was very sore for 3 weeks after the wreck, but I was blessed to even be alive without any injuries. Once I was in the ambulance I remember being very concerned about the things that I had in my car, that was destroyed. My mac book was pulled out of my trunk, and it did not look repairable. As a grad school student, I was devastated that I had potentially lost all of my documents and projects I had been working on to prepare for finals week that was quickly approaching. I began to fixate on all of the things that I had packed with me to take home that I probably had lost. I had clothes, shoes, makeup, a hair dryer, a curling iron, apple air pods, and other things that I considered valuable. I only thought about what I had lost and not about what God had just done for me.

I vividly remember lying in the hospital bed and seeing the man who pulled me out of my car immediately after the wreck. I was still shaken up, and all I could think to do was to wave at him. He was holding keys in his hand. I remember thinking, “How did he get my boyfriend’s keys?” The man left and my boyfriend came in moments later. He began to explain that the stranger who pulled me out of the car drove his truck to the hospital for him because he was too shaken up to drive. The same man who pulled me out of my car, when I would not have been able to by myself was the same man who drove my boyfriend’s truck to the hospital. A complete stranger to me, but a blessing God  orchestrated so that a stranger would be in the right place at the right time to take care of me.

Immediately after the wreck, I was crippled with thoughts about what I could have done to prevent the accident. “If I would have stopped at the stop sign, I would have prevented the soreness I was feeling, my car would not have been totaled, and all of the valuable things I had in it would not have been ruined, I would not have a citation to pay, and I would not have possibly injured other people involved.” I felt immediate guilt, and pain that If I would have just stopped, it would have changed everything. A simple fix and everything would have remained the same. The cops had arrived at the hospital, they wrote my citation, and the crash report was completed. One of the cops I had spoken with told me that I was hit at 65 miles per hour. I was hit directly on the driver’s side back seat. The cop expressed to me that if I would have pumped my breaks, even in the slightest I would have gotten hit an inch closer than where I was hit which would have killed me instantly. It was a miracle that I was not able to stop. I remember seeing the stop sign as I was already slightly passed it. God knew that if I were to stop as I was already through the stop sign, I would not have lived. However, he pushed me forward so that the other car would hit me at the right time in the right spot; in order to save my life.

Feeling overwhelmed was an understatement. I did not know how to act or think. God literally saved my life and sent people to take care of me and to comfort me. At first, I felt guilty because I so desperately wished that I would have stopped at the stop sign, in order to prevent all of the damage that I had caused. Additionally, I felt guilty because I was worried about the material things I had lost as well. However, I let go of my own thoughts and anxious feelings, and I prayed that I would find peace through this situation. It didn’t happen overnight but finally, I strongly believed that this was the way God planned for things to happen. What I realized was the same God that pulled me out of the wreck alive without any injuries, who sent strangers to take care of me, pray for me and comfort me; is the same God that will restore and replace anything that was damaged in the wreck. I finally felt peace and comfort. Once I chose to trust God, accept what happened, and move forward it became easier for me to share my testimony with others, and share how good God truly is. If I would have kept focusing on what I could have done to prevent the accident, I would have missed the blessings that God had provided me with and the blessings that he has in store for my life. I wanted to change what I had done, but God wanted me to accept that what had happened was His plan, and to share it with others. Sometimes you have to let go, and let God.

After looking at the picture of my car it was obvious that it was a miracle. Soon after the wreck, I was able to get a great deal on a new car, the hard drive on my mac book was able to be salvaged onto a brand new laptop for a deductible that still contained all of my documents, and everything that was damaged or broken was restored. However, even after all of the things that I had lost were restored or replaced, it did not compare to the joy I felt when realizing that God loved me so much that He would save my life so that I could continue to live my life for Him. Material things will never make a person truly happy. Through this situation, I learned how to lean on God for support, and how to trust that He works everything out for my good. Furthermore, not everything went perfectly following this realization. However, I still have anxiety every time I drive at night, or every time I see a stop sign. Though, I have become a more cautious driver and it has lead me to lean on God more than I ever have before. It also serves as another reminder that I cannot go through life without God. I need him. I will be forever thankful that God saved my life, and sent so many people to take care of me that night. I will continue to live my life spreading the love of God.

Do yourself a favor and do not get caught up with worrying about what you should have done before, to prevent a specific situation. Instead, focus on what you can do with the situation you are given. Allow God to help you move forward in order to find peace through Him and accept the blessings that he has provided and has in store for you.

My question is, how will you live the next day after something bad has happened? If it has already happened and you do not have control over it; will you choose to waste your time thinking about what you could have done differently to prevent the situation and the harm you have caused, or will you take what you have learned and apply it to the next day?

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prayer. Purpose. Praise. Perspective

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One day I woke up and I thought I could do better, I can be better. I was starting to get complacent, and I was stuck in a daily routine: Wake up, go to work, go to class, finish homework, go to sleep, repeat. As a college student and for anyone for that matter- it is so easy to get stuck in a continuous cycle of simply completing the things scheduled for the day. I would check off my “to do” list of responsibilities and then end the day. I was not apart of anything bigger than myself. I was going through the motions every day worrying solely about what needed to be done but what I realized is there was so much I was missing. Sometimes there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, “Am I a part of something bigger than myself?” One day I woke up and I prayed, I found my purpose, and praised God before beginning my day. I want to share my results with you. I cannot simply be better, or do better on my own. I wanted to make a change in my life so I started with God, and began with prayer.

Prayer– “A request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or a form of worship.” The very moment you wake up is crucial; Put God first, and include Him in your day. When I first made a point to pray every morning, I found myself praying only for myself. Praying for yourself is not a bad thing, but it is definitely not the only thing. Deeper into this process, I found myself praying for others. More importantly, I started praying that God would use me in a different way than ever before and in a result, God gave me a heart for others that I had never experienced. I had remembered hearing about their struggles, and I so badly wanted healing, restoration, joy or whatever they needed to come into effect over their lives. People started coming into my life and I didn’t know why at the moment, but I remember saying something as simple as, “I’ll be praying for you, or for someone in their family who needed prayer. Also, something I said would make them laugh, and they would make it a point to tell me, “I really needed that today.” These seem like simple things, but I began to focus on the small things that I was doing for people: bits of encouragement I could throw their way, or anytime I could make someone laugh who was having a rough day. I found that I began figuring out how to share God’s love with someone else through my expressions. It was all through my actions. I wouldn’t have to bring up Christianity or Jesus, but somehow they made a point to bring it up in conversation. When starting my journey of beginning every morning with prayer, God opened my eyes to more than I had ever seen before. I was fixed on more than myself. I was fixed on how God could use me for that given day. When meeting new people, or conversing with others I never had to ask them, “Do you know Jesus?” I noticed that they were the ones bringing it up. You can bring the love of God into your college, your workplace, or even your home through your actions. You do not have to “shove Jesus down someone’s throat.” If you’re doing the right thing, you’re following God’s plan, you’re encouraging and sharing the love with others, they will more than likely come to you and ask you about Jesus. Do not fixate on how you can witness to someone because I can assure you will be surprised about how natural it can happen. It’s as simple as being loving, kind, and showing you care. Every time I have told someone about Jesus was when they brought it up in conversation. This is not how witnessing to someone will turn out 100% of the time, but by showing you care, loving on them, and encouraging them they will be more open to either bring it up themselves or listen to you when the time comes. The focus should not be on witnessing. Rather, the focus should be on just being a witness. I was no longer worried about what I needed to do for myself, but how God could use me. I found my purpose.

Purpose- “The reason for which something is done or which something exists.” Through prayer, I had found my purpose. My purpose in life was more than just finishing a “to-do list” and ending the day. Every new day, I had a new purpose. It was important to pray and ask God what my purpose would be. Waking up with intention was a newfound motivation for me to take on life in a new way. I didn’t want to just exist anymore. I wanted to live; I wanted to live with purpose. I woke up intending to do great things. I woke up with intentions to go to work and class. However, I became focused on the way I completed my daily schedule. Yes, I still had to attend to my daily responsibilities, but I now had purpose attached to everything I was doing. You may think what you’re doing is not meaningful. However, have you asked God to show you why you work at the place you work, or why you attend the college you attend? If you attach purpose to the one thing you have to do, and you involve God in your daily schedule, It will be clear why you are in the situation that you are in. God will place people in your workplace, your college, or an organization you are apart of, that need the love of God. They may need encouragement, something to smile about, or they may need to hear, “God has it under control.” It doesn’t need to be some elaborate sermon. A simple phrase to let them know that you care is all they may need. Everything you do should have a purpose behind it. Do not go to work or school because you have to, go because you get to and because there’s a deeper purpose attached to it. You may not know what your purpose is, but you need to praise Him until you find your purpose and praise him in order to continue your purpose.

Praise– Express warm approval or admiration of. Finding my purpose through prayer caused me to praise God, and in turn, he showed me the true meaning of praise. I knew that in any situation I was in, good or bad; God always deserved praise. No matter what, I realized that God chose me, he set me apart and called me to do big things. He died for me and rose again three days later. He loves me more than anyone else possibly could. He has given me unique gifts, and a unique purpose for life. It’s not always easy to praise God through a storm, but if you trust Him and not let circumstances phase you, He’ll pull you out of it. If you adopt this mentality, you‘ll have the strength to help others through difficult times. You would have a story to share with others of what it’s like to praise God through a storm and see Him pull you out of it. God wants to bless you, but you have to take action. Praise God, even if you’re in an unfortunate situation because God deserves to be praised regardless of circumstance, solely because of who He is, what He’s done, and what He’s going to do. Praising God through every situation will change your perspective on your life. You’ll begin to see yourself, how God sees you.

Perspective- “A particular attitude toward, or way of regarding something; a point of view.” Praying, following God’s purpose, and praising Him solely for who He is will cause you to change your perspective on life. Praying for how God will use you to help others, finding your purpose, taking action, and praising God through every situation will create you into the best version of yourself. Taking the focus off of yourself and allowing God to use you to help others is motivation to make a difference in other peoples’ lives. Without knowing it, your life will also change.

If you ever wake up thinking, I could do better, I could be better then follow prayer, purpose, praise, perspective. If you want to make a change in your life, start with God.

“What you are is God’s gift to you, but what you become is your gift to God.”

Are you following Your plan, or God’s Plan?

This question has been asked at the end of my day throughout my life, “Have you had a good day?” Typically, my response would be, “Yes, it went well.” Or, “No, it was awful.” I’ve noticed that my definition of having a “good day,” meant that everything went the way I thought it was supposed to go. However, I came to the realization that if every day went exactly how I thought it was supposed to go, why would I need God? If everything worked out according to “my plan” I wouldn’t need God’s help. However, I’m only human. If I followed my own plan and based every decision solely on my emotions without God’s direction, my life would honestly be a “train wreck. Instead, I choose God’s ways over mine and His plans over mine because they are far better than any plans I could ever create for myself. For instance, the School Psychology Master’s program that I am currently in is very competitive. Only 12 students are allowed in each program, and hundreds apply. I had my heart set on the University of Dayton. When I was denied acceptance, I was heart broken. BUT God had another plan for my life. I received an acceptance letter from Miami University the same day, offering me free tuition with a full-time graduate assistantship and a $13,000 stipend. Trust me, God’s plan is ALWAYS better than any plan you’ve ever came up with for your life. God loves you more than you’ll ever know, and He has higher plans for you than you would ever think about creating for yourself.

Next, I started thinking about what typically defines my day as “bad”? I came to the conclusion that I have based my response solely on circumstances that are out of my control. One’s circumstance is only temporary. I stopped allowing temporary circumstances that are out of my control define my days as “bad,” and I stopped having bad days. Furthermore, this does not mean that every single thing in my life went perfectly after this realization. Additionally, it means that when you stop allowing temporary circumstances that are outside of your control affect you, you are expressing to God that you trust Him and you’re allowing Him to take control over what you can’t. I began to focus on what I could control, and began to see God move in my life than ever before. Why stress over things that are outside of your control, when God is eventually going to work everything out for your good if you love and trust him?

“We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Moreover, I began to challenge myself when people asked me the question, have you had a good day?” I would take this simple question and reflect on my entire day. Every temporary circumstance that was out of my control, I would pray and ask God to take control over it. Secondly, I would pray that God would direct me in following His plan for my life every single day. I challenge you to do the same thing, and I promise that you’ll find peace in uncomfortable circumstances when you follow God’s plan. Allow Him to handle what you cannot control.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11